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Sanyu FM’s James Onen Loses Stiff Erection Over Crane Bank

Loud mouthed radio show host, Fat boy aka James Onen had it rough as news about Crane Bank woes became the talk of town.

His erect ego limped like Golola Moses after fighting a Hungarian kick boxer.

The outspoken radio presenter is said to have lost his desire in making love to his egoistic talk about feminism, marriage and women he brands as “ugly and not worth banging”.

When the news broke out, he was reportedly in a bathroom washing away his sins, dust and fatigue. He then walked over to the mirror and looked at the man in the mirror.

For the first time, he felt so weak and vulnerable. His mushrooming hair taunted him. He stared deeply in the eyes of the man in the mirror. He saw emptiness. He saw vanity. He saw Crane Bank. He saw himself. He moved closer to the mirror and placed his hand as if to make contact with the man in the mirror. He brought his face closer to the mirror. He looked again and made faces like emojis. He smiled. He laughed. He cried. He walked backwards looking at his reflection. He felt like he was walking away from his earlier perceptions of life. He felt like walking to his child’s room and whispering “Good morning child, I am off to make money for you and mummy”

He felt guilty of trapping his potential sons and daughters in expensive scented rubbers. He regretted the last time he deposited them. He felt like rushing back in time like Crane bank managers. But there is still time for redemption.

He said to himself, “I will respect women more. I will marry. I will have children. I don’t want to end up like Crane Bank. Who will put me under receivership?” His ego lost its erection.

The thoughts of dissing feminism might have been grand but like Crane bank, it went down. He realised that he needs a woman.

However, the following day,the headline read “UGX20BN given to Crane Bank”. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Back to the usual grand master game”. Onen reportedly ordered a new video game.

PARODY. Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction.

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